Guest Blogger: Mr. Dink

"A man is judged by his deeds, not by his words" - A Book of English and Russian Proverbs and Sayings by author M. Dubrovin, Moscow, "Prosvesheniye", 1993.

I asked Mr. Dink to consider contributing a post to my blog.  He was kind enough to agree.   It is below. It is limited in identifying information to protect his  privacy  and more importantly his daughter's.

I do want to add that he is an adoptive father. The daughter referenced here is his oldest.

It really needs no further set up or explanation.  You should see why I love him.

"She's coming to live with you. I can't take this any more!" Phone call from my ex before she sent my daughter to stay with me after months of agonizing mother-daughter infighting. She showed up on the train next day, bag in hand.

"Daddy, I'm pregnant. I'm not going to be a marine." Text message sent six feet from the bathroom of my apartment to my living room.

"I don't want to have this baby." Statement made in line at the local Boston Market. Weeks of counseling and soul searching came before, and a safe, well-considered abortion followed.

"Daddy, I'm pregnant… Three months." Phone call a week after her graduation from Army basic training. And then, "I won't give this baby up. My first mom gave me up. I won't do that to another person."

It's hard for me to place dates on emotionally charged events. A little careful historical research could probably sort them out, but that wouldn't matter. Messages like these define time more than they are defined by it.

Any glib comments or harsh judgments about the failure to use birth control? Keep them to yourselves, please. I'm not your audience.

Abandoned or sold at 5, adopted or bought at 7, ten years of intra- and interpersonal turmoil, two pregnancies, two decisions. If you fail to respect a young woman who has come through that and still finds it within her power to care about herself and her child, the shortcomings of person hood are yours. I hope that you will draw from her example and become well.

She's my daughter and I'm proud of her." copyright Mr. Dink, 2008

Comments

[Kristy]

I didn't tell my dad I was pregnant until I was in labor. I was afraid of disappointing him. He held my hand and protected my heart through it all. Of all my regrets, not telling him earlier is the biggest. Perhaps had I trusted in him a bit more I never would have gone to EH in the first place. Yea Mr. Dink, You rock!

[HeatherRainbow]

Thank goodness for afathers like him. If only everyone could be so kind to other humans.