Grandpa Dink

“One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.” - Robert Heinlein

I couldn't sleep last night. I was up until close to 1:00 a.m. due to anxiety, insomnia and more.

To pass the time, I worked on my computer and managed to install an external hard drive and move my extensive music collection to it. I also cleaned up my home computer, organized my desk, and picked up the house to prepare for a showing today. In between all of this, I chatted with a few friends via instant messenger. Finally, I reflected on my weekend.

One of the most notable events is that Mr. Dink became a grandfather. His teenage, adopted, recently married, daughter gave birth to her baby girl. Mr. Dink called me and shared the wonderful news. I have been privileged  to "view" this pregnancy from afar. Mr. Dink shared highlights with me regularly. It is very sweet. To see him so proud of his daughter, to witness his support of her, to view pictures of him holding his new grand baby. Sweet.

And triggering.

When Mr. Dink called me a few days ago to tell me that a new angel walks among us, I was moved to tears.  My tears were equal parts joy for The Dink family and sadness and grief for myself.

Bearing witness to such loving events, to such a wonderful daddy/now granddaddy, emphasized for me, again, how much I lacked at a similar time in my life. I could not help but wonder how my own life would have been different if my own father was one shred of the man Mr. Dink is.  Does his daughter know how lucky she is to have him? (I suspect she does since on her myspace page, under the Heroes label, she had typed "DADDY")

During the birth announcement conversation, Mr. Dink made reference to my daughter and her lack of contact with me. I gasped for air. He meant well. He was being supportive and validating and encouraging and hopeful and all other sorts of loving things that friends are. I am not accustomed to such validation or being spoken to so directly about such matters. When I am emotionally bleeding (as I have been for years) most people I know just ignore it. They walk around the bloody elephant in the room and don't acknowledge my pain. I just couldn't handle, at that time, Mr. Dink doing so. I redirected the conversation back to his new family member.

The conversation has stayed with me and today I wrote Mr. Dink and apologized for what may have been chilly response on my part. Was never my intent. It was just hard for me to stitch all my frayed emotions together during the conversations. I know him well enough to know that he will forgive me. He may not even have noticed. That is my hope.

Welcome to the world Mr. Dinks' Granddaughter!

And to the natural mother of Mr. Dinks adopted daughter (the new mom), I congratulate you too. Wherever you are in the world, you became a grandma this weekend. Your grand daughter is as beautiful as your daughter.   

Comments

[Kris]

When I see a baby born on tv or in the movies I am always filled with happiness and sadness at the same time.

You touched briefly on something that is an issue for me, the role of our parents in what happened. Being a new reader I don't know if you have written on this at length before. I suspect you probably have. Can you direct me to those posts if there are some. I'd like to read what you have to say.