The Gift

“The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I mailed my daughters gift. I cannot really tell you what it is (least I cannot publish it...email me if you want the back story...its a bit of a tear jerker).

Due to the nature of the gift, the writing sample/story that went with it and the people I wrote about, I cannot post here. But its done. Its over.  I hope she accepts it with the spirit in which it was intended and sent.

It wasn't fancy or huge or expensive but there is a tremendous amount of love and emotion in it. Again, I hope she sees that. (I really wish I could share here! Do write me if you are interested!)

I was mildly freaking this a.m. (as in shaking, dizzy, lost, disoriented) as I prepared it and drove to the post office. I mailed it priority overnight with delivery confirmation.  She should get it this week.

I don't expect a response or a thank you or anything. I have learned.

I feel okay with sending it. She will either love it and cry or hate it and be more angry at me.  Whatever. I had to be true to me and my feelings and who I am and the type of mother I am. Her desire to not be loved does not stop my desire to love her.

But yeah, its done.

Comments

[Joy]

What did you send her? My story - I'm a 32 year old adoptee who has beenin reunion since summer of 2007. I don't have a blog, except for one on Xanga, but I like to read other peoples blogs - especially those who have been touched by adoption. I have a wonderful relationship with my first mother, but sometimes I can't read her. I think she's nervous and concerned about what I think about her. It's good to read about other first mothers. Not sure if you can see my e-mail address, but it's Joy41076 @ gmail.com

[Coco]

Suz,

I'm glad you sent it. All my hope is being sent to you, and your daughter, that she can open her heart a little and accept it with love.

I'm interested in the backstory, too, if you want to talk about ti with me. I think you have my e-mail via the comments, right?

[joyceregina]

Suz: Knowing how write and reading you for the last two years there is no way you can be ignored. Perhaps you may not get what you want in a thank you or reply, but your thoughts and feelings can never be set aside.
You are a loving Mom and I pray that
One day you will be granted your right.

[Meli]

I'm glad you decided to send it, Suz. And I hope you shared a wonderful Mother's Day with your boys!

[mia]

I'm proud of you Suz.

You know I almost wonder if we shouldn't let the peeps at the post office in on adoption trauma. How many of us have walked in to mail something totally freaking out? I can only imagine how we must look to the person behind the counter! Maybe they should get some sort of training for us. Like grabbing the letter or package out of our hands and saying "IT'S DONE, NOW GO!" lol

[kristy]

You are awesome!

Much love *Hugs*

[mariah]

If my DD were to receive what sounds like a wonderful, meaningful, gift, but chose to ignore it, I would save it for her. Some day, she'll be glad to have it. Your recent posts have been heart-rending. (((((Suz))))))

[Margie]

I so hope she see the love that comes with it.

Happy Mother's Day to an astonishing mother!!