About Me

Suz Bednarz - Reunited Mother

Surrendered my first born child to adoption in 1986 after five month stay in a maternity home, known as Gehring Hall, located one thousand miles from my family home.

Intimidation and coercion tactics used include, but not limited to, deceit, isolation, promissory notes, and threats of lawsuit, denial of contact with family members and legal professionals and restricting knowledge of legal process.

I am also the founder of ehbabes.com. The site and associated support group provides search, support and reunion assistance to those separated by the Kurtz network of agencies. Agencies include but are not limited to: Easter House, Birth Hope, American Friends of Children, Friends of Children, Adoption Edition, Adoption World, Casa del Sur and others. Refer to babybrokerwatch.com for more information. The site and its registry members have NO association with the agencies.

• Successfully facilitated over forty reunions for members of ehbabes.com
• Family preservationist
• Supporter of adoptee rights and open records
• Guest on The Adoption Show episode “Trolling for Babies”
• Member of OriginsUSA
• Member of Ethica

My position on adoption is explained best in the quote below.

"I do believe that there are times when it is best for a baby to be cared for by someone other than his natural mother (or father). However, I do not believe that adoption, as it currently exists, is the answer. Even when a mother does not want to or is unable to care for her baby, there is no reason why the child has to be denied the right to know his original name, to see his real birth certificate, and to know who his natural parents, siblings, and grandparents are. There is no reason why natural parents should not be allowed to know whether their child was indeed adopted or not, how their child is doing, what their child's name is, who is caring for their child, and even if their child is alive or dead.

Although it is sometimes necessary for children to be raised by people other than their natural parents, it is never necessary to have the secrecy and lies that we have in the adoption system today. The closed adoption system wasn't created until around the 1950s. It's time to end this awful experiment.

Also, in many of the situations where a mother feels that she cannot raise her child and it would be best to surrender her child for adoption, it is because of a lack of financial and social support. If our country really valued families and provided decent social welfare to help parents in need (as other developed nations do), many of these separations could be prevented." - bernadette wright , owner of babybrokerwatch.com

A snapshot of me in a poem is found below. This poem perfectly describes me, what I believe and essentially who I am at heart.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

© Mountaindreaming, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999 All rights reserved